the towering separation

I'm in this strange, uncharted place, where I feel like I am sitting in a chair, watching the world go fast by me. I wouldn't say I feel lost, as I'm confident of the path I've taken to understand what lights me on fire in work, with whom I want to share and do life with, and knowing through experience what life is not about. I don't want to say I know what life is about in entirety, because I think that unfolds as the journey continues.

I wouldn't say my life has slowed down in terms of the nature of my job or the hours of school I'm taking [in which they have increased], but I guess the rhythm of my life is steady and narrow. I can't stray from the path. My flesh fights this. I want to plan, like I previously posted, take control, or deviate from the path I've chosen. I love change, adventure. So in this narrow path, I'm trying to be intentional on deepening my understanding of neglected thoughts/emotions/compartments of my life.

The sermon last night was on merging the towering separation of spirit filled thoughts and life's thoughts. Surprisingly, I had embarked on this thought process this past month or so, how we must, to experience the fullness of Christ, give him all of ourselves [thoughts, desires, emotions, activities, chores]. I still do not know how to fully do this.

Woods and I walked around White Rock on Saturday and a conversation of how clear joy is compared to happiness came up. As of late, I've witnessed her surrender her life to a place of joy. Clearly, for both she and Lindsay, life is not as they would choose, with such hardships, being only 25. They are explicit examples of how His joy disables fear, despair, and grief.

Anyways, all that to say, E.E. writes "Let us remember, however, that the Shepherd Himself sometimes makes us lie down. Some of the "delays" are His own choice for us, so we must not always chide ourselves when the pace is not what we thought it should be. We must learn to move according to the timetable of the Timeless One, and be at peace".

I can't even say I'm lying down. I'm just where I've always wanted to be. Obviously, I'm feeling deep conviction or contemplative thoughts upon the control God has over our lives, but I see His workings in those around me [and myself, of course]. I see the unexpected turns, the tumultuous times, that provide deep, abiding relationships [if chosen], and it makes me so very, very grateful.