hillsong ::: desert song

this is my prayer in the desert

when all thats within me feels dry

this is my prayer in my hunger and need

my god is the god who provides

this is my prayer in the fire

in weakness or trial or pain

there is a faith proved to more worth than gold

so refine me lord through the flame

i will bring praise

i will bring praise

no weapon formed against me shall remain

i will rejoice

i will declare

god is my victory

and he is here

all of my life

in every season

you are still god

i have a reason to sing

i have a reason to worship

this is my prayer in the harvest

where favor and providence flow

i know i'm filled to be emptied again

the seed i've received by the sower

___________________

last night at the village, matt spoke on confusing things in life, such as someone dying of cancer. his story of watching the process of a loved one dying of cancer was amazingly just like mine. it made me feel not so alone, that someone else knows what this is like, and has been like. matt's message to me was that all of the hard, questionable things happening in life right now, is not about me. none of it is to hurt me intentionally, none of it is done against me. it is for his glory, and his plan and much goodness will come from this, and already has. i thought this was a good thought process to add to my child-like faith pursuit.

Wholeness

Wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. Knowing this gives me hope that human wholeness - mine, yours, ours - need not be a Utopian dream, if we can use devastation as a seedbed for new life ~Parker J. Palmer

Baby Life

Linds and I just went and visited Baby Life. The ecmo is the biggest machine we've ever seen and she's hooked up to a lot of monitors. We felt hope and peace, in the presence of Matt and Lauren. Baby Life is, and will receive, the best treatment offered.

She is still stable at 98% oxygen in her blood. She's a precious as ever & just like any other baby girl. She's a beautiful baby. She has great color, sweet hair, and great shape. She's perfect in weight and size. She's a fighter & is going to come out of Children's to tell her story.

Lauren and Matt need your prayers as well. Continue to pray.

Great News!

Mel just talked to Lauren, who sounded at peace. Lauren is blown away by everyone's prayers and feels an army behind her.

The technical details are a blur to us, but there is a lot of oxygen in her blood.

Please pray:
Against bleeding in the Brain
For the virus to vanish

Right now she is hooked up on the ecmo, which is beating and breathing for her. This ecmo will be slowly reduced once the virus that the baby is fighting, is gone.

Baby Larsen is stable. Continue praying for healing.

A New Day..

Baby Larsen's oxygen levels have stablized around 98.

I googled this, naturally. Someone asked an ask & answer website: "what's the best oxygen level for an infant?" ---the response? 98!!!

The baby girl had a good night!

Continue to pray.

Lauren said that the baby made it through the first hard part. The Drs placed the ecmo on baby Larsen's heart. During the procedure, baby Larsen gave them a scare but seems to be stable right now. Apparently it is very difficult for the Drs to know which artery is which. The baby will be on the ecmo for a long time. Lauren said she is "not out of the woods".

I felt hope.

Lauren has been discharged. She is going to Children's to be with Matt and the baby.

Lauren delivered less than 24 hours ago, has barely slept, and has a virus.

Please continue to pray.

They are doing a "lifesaving procedure", which is one of the last resorts, while she's at Children's.

I have no other info or what this even means.

Please pray. Please pray for a miracle.

Lauren requests prayer for no strokes, for no brain damage, and wisdom for the doctors.

She referred to one doctor as Dr. Lukette @ Children's.

Lauren then texted at 5:30 that Life was on her way to Children's Hospital. Lauren is also sick with the same infection.

Continue Praying Please.

Lucia Life Larsen Update

Mel just talked with Lauren, emailing us this (an hour ago): 

Lauren is in the room with her right now... the doctor said right now, she is stable and the doctor gave her a bit of hope. My emails of the diagnosis are a little bit different than what Life has. Hers is a 3 day virus (that HD virus is CAUSING the Pulma). If Life can fight this, pray pray pray for her strength... then like she said, she can get past this. It is so crucial right now. Pray for her and Matt's strength. Pray for Life's strength. She has already proved so strong, Lauren said you can see how hard she is fighting and the pain she is feeling on her little precious face.

 

Lauren feels a peace, it comes in waves, but she is faithful that The Lord, for this moment wants this baby. It is amazing, she said that it is crucial that Life was born last night, or the infection could have gotten worse. This miracle is such a praise and so crucial.

 

She said the infection started about a week ago, and that is why she had the fever last night and she was not feeling great... her and Life both had it. Lauren feels like her fever broke and she is over it, pray the little Life fights it like her momma. They can't talk to her, they want Life to stay sedated so she fights it more... pray that she will stay in place and asleep so she can fight this thing.

 

Right now the best thing we can do is just pray, she has not even gotten 5 hours of sleep, so for her to be strong and get better, she must rest. As of right now and most likely tonight, it is best if we dont go up there so she can stay rest and they can be with Life as much as they can.

 

I am sorry Lauren, if I messed up details.

 

Love ya'll lots. Lets be little prayer warriors. Lindsay, Diane was such a warrior and shined in this. Let's all pray like Lin's mom with out question or hope, and constantly. She is such in inspiration in times like this. 

::: Psalm 46:1:::

Ashley Tavenner led our BS just 2 days ago. We talked about how the Lord is our refuge, defining what that looks like and what a refuge really means.

We decided to memorize this verse and to meditate on it this week, to form a better habit of trusting him as our refuge. Who knew our desire for more of him would result in, yet another, testing of our faith. i have had so many questions these days, little pieces of doubt that are trying to creep in. but i won't let them. i told Lauren this morning, as i am working on this myself, to have a child-like faith. a faith that doesn't ask too many questions. a faith that has a simple mind and simple thoughts.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. ::: Psalm 46:1 :::

i believe and trust, please believe with us.