His Light

I entered through three locked doors, that required authorization before entering, to interview a 16 year old boy today. He was covered in tattoos {i thought through the age limit of acquiring tattoos, wondering who on earth tatted my boy. i claim him as 'my boy' due to him being on my caseload}. He carried a grim expression, that quickly communicated down my spine, that nothing was to relieve him from his pain. He's been in a juvenile facility for the past few weeks, surrounded by white walls, locked doors, walking with his hands behind his back, everywhere he goes . . . locked down.

Yes, I've seen a lot in the past three years of working for child protective services, but there are some things that take me by surprise/change me. It was my first to be at a lock down facility, where there is no escaping. They have no choice. I've even been to jail. But this "jail" is for kids. Teenagers. Teenagers just like my old Young Life kids, who I would beg and plead for to not be in a facility like this.

With a broken heart, I initially asked him why he was there. "Burglary" ... I said "Of a habitation?" .. He said "yes" .. I proceeded to share with him the victimization I felt on the receiving end of a burglary [ha, ha]. He was unfazed [understandably/expected]. I then asked him if he had been there before. Expressionless, "Yes. For aggravated assault" ... I asked to whom he was assaulting. "A guy at school", emotionless. I proceeded with the interview, treating him as he was a child, as I know of all children to be - loved, cherished, and innocent in God's eyes while thinking : If he was my child, what would I say to him? If he was my Young Life friend, what would I say to him? If I was him what could I say to REACH him. to influence him. to provide hope. H.O.P.E. What is hope to a boy locked up?

When trying to be with him, in the present moments I shared with him, I closed with "Why do you think life has you where it has you?" He told me of his family relationships, the abuse he experienced, the harm done to he and his siblings. Abuse alters children's ability to make decisions/understand feelings/function at a child's level. What he said to me, that hit me, was "Miss, this is my life. This is what I was surrounded by. This is why I am here."

I realized I could not share any experience with him. I sure hope I encouraged him to believe and hope for more. If not, I am broken for him, desire him to have the full capacity of life God desires for him, and that he would just know the surpassing goodness of Christ's love.

"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness to light" ... I plead on behalf of him, to turn the darkness to light. May our eyes be open to the dark, to fight for the light ... to share it.