I Shall know Why

By Emily Dickinson

I shall know why-when Time is over--
And I have ceased to wonder why--
Christ will explain each separate anguish
In the fair schoolroom of the sky--

He will tell me what "Peter" promised--
And I--for wonder at his woe--
I shall forget the drop of Anguish
That scalds me now--that scalds me now!

"You speak always like someone who has suffered," says Arctura, one of
MacDonald's characters. "Who has not that lives at all," is the
response.[1]

Indeed, life is suffering: Contradiction, misfortune, disappointment and
heartbreak surrounded us. Why must we enter the Kingdom of God through many
tribulations?

I used to know the answers to that question, but life--now that I'm much
closer to its end than to its beginning--has knocked most of them right out
of my head. God chided Job and his friends,[2] as Jesus chided his
disciples,[3] when they drew unwarranted conclusions from suffering. In the
face of affliction, I'm learning now to be more or less silent. When my
friends tell me their lives are difficult, I answer "Of course." When they
ask me why they're suffering, I shrug and tell them, "I don't know."

Why life should be this way, I cannot say, but I do know this: It will not
always be this way; there will be an end. Eternal glory lies ahead, as
Peter promised, "after we have suffered for a little while."[4] There, in
that "fair schoolroom," our Lord will explain "each separate anguish," but
I doubt, then, that we will care. In the awesome flood of his wisdom and
love, and in the beauty[5] that will be ours for all eternity, we shall
forget our present, light, momentary affliction[6]--"the drop of Anguish
that scalds me now--that scalds me now!"

It's a matter of perspective.

DHR

[1] From George MacDonald's Donal Grant
[2] God's "answer" to Job's questions was "Hush, child. You wouldn't
understand if I told you" (Peter Kreeft).
[3] John 9:2ff.
[4] "The God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ
Jesus, after you have suffered a while, will perfect, establish,
strengthen, and settle you"(1 Peter 5:10).
[5] I have become convinced that the New Testament word, "glory," which
refers to the epiphany (shining out or manifestation) of eternal truth and
goodness, is the equivalent of our word "beauty."
[6] "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us
a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at
the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the
things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are
eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:17).

6159 oram

when scott goes back to school on Sundays at 2...i like to go shopping with gift cards and find new things for our home. i keep hanging things and arranging things in hopes that he will like what i've done, when he returns on Thursday (or Wednesday if I'm lucky). here are some of the things we bought this weekend for our home!

the cayman's make big hot dogs...

One night, after Scott and I had already had dinner, took our evening stroll on the beach, and returned to our room, Scott decided he was hungry again. no big surprise here....

 

So Scott ordered a hot dog from the Ritz Carlton "late night" room service menu. There were many disturbing things about this hotdog, not to mention we weren't sure it was cooked all the way through (how could it have been, the dog was 7" in diameter?!). As you can see, it was almost twice the length of Scott's face. The hot dog left both of us wondering...who eats hot dogs that big anyways??

h o n e y m o o n

Scott and I, the two of us traveling as Mr. and Mrs. Schardt, went to the Grand Cayman for our honeymoon! It was so wonderful and relaxing and care free. I had been looking forward to getting away since about May and the vacation was even better than I could have imagined. We slept in everyday, read, went to the beach, snorkeled, rode horses on the beach, swam with sting rays, kayaked, and ate great food. It was wonderful, I wish we were still there!

italy in 2004

summer of 2004 i studied abroad in Castiglion Fiorentino, Italy.

 

to my greatest delight, i found out morgan the one and only stallings was studying at the same exact school for the month!

 

here are just a few pictures morgan found today and emailed me. i find them very blog worthy. please note the nose ring. gosh i miss it....also please notice the hot italian friends we made...haha, they wanted to take us to get ice cream, but we remembered what our mommies taught us about strangers, and said "no thank you".

JLS - to - BE

scott and lindsay have a closet together. 

her shoes are on the right/his on the left.

her hats are pinned on the right/his on the left.

that is wonderful...

it's so close, i can taste it!

Lin & Scott are getting married in 13 days. Just sayin...

TEXAS missed you.

Welcome Home, Brittain.

We Love You!

Christmas Cookies!!

A few nights ago, I was feeling blue about the Christmas holiday and no mom. Zog was just sitting talking with me and asked me if there was somthing my family always did together, that we could do with the girls. As shown in my Christmas at the Killingsworth's blog, my family loves making Christmas cookies to bring the holiday cheer.

 

So last night, I get home after a crazy day, and the girls are all sitting at the kitchen table, with Zog's homemade cookies and tons of different colored icings and toppings! We spent almost 2 hours decorating cookies :)

 

Thank you friends. You give me way more than I deserve.

i am going to try to make these cute things....